It seems almost unreal to be writing this final post for this blog! I began this year with a list of 100 things to do in the space of the 365 days that this year gave us. Some were very simple challenges or tasks, some were very silly, and others were big life changing goals.
I would be lying if I were to tell you that 2015 was the best year of life – it really wasn’t. I am not one to dwell too much on the past (It’s happened, you can’t change it, only learn from it) but I feel it is appropriate at this point to review the year as it has been.
Before I started to write the list, I considered all the things I wanted to achieve in 2015, where I wanted to go, and what I wanted to change. I incorporated those ideas into the final list. One of the biggest, and to me, most important, was to graduate university.
I will forever remember being told when I was 10 years old that I would never amount to anything, never achieve or develop, and that I was a waste of space, by a learning support teacher. This was bullshit. Having a disability has taught me that the only thing that stops you is your own level of determination. If anyone ever tells you cannot do something because you are different, have a learning or physical disability, or because as far as they are concerned, you’re worthless – tell them to shove it. They are not worth your time. Seriously.
This year and this list have taught me that life has it’s own way of moving, that you can influence but cannot control. And that many things you did not plan for, happen anyway.
I know I said that this year has not been the best of my life, but it has had it’s highlights. Although I didn’t get to travel to any new countries, G did manage to visit three new ones with me by his side. That in its self made up for not being able to visit anywhere new – getting to make new memories with him by my side, in some of my favourite places.
I was lucky enough to graduate next to him, for us to move in together, travel, laugh and to enter and leave 2015 with him as a constant by my side.
Despite the awful experience of loosing my job with no warning, the ending of one opportunity, inevitably, led to the opening of a new one. My new job has allowed me to meet some genuinely fantastic people, push myself and make more coffee than any person could imagine. I can really say that this place has for the most part made my life better (it is hospitality/retail so does bring its bad days) and that my friendships there will endure.
I continue to hold friendships with those I started 2015 with, and I am forever thankful for all six of those girls in life. I would really not get through without them. They know who they are. I leave 2015 with all member of my family still intact (there’s a lot of us) and I am very grateful.
The year however has been plagued by worries over money, over adult life, what I want to do for a career, family illness and a general deterioration of my ability to breathe easily.
Looking back over the list there are a number of challenges that I am disappointed I never got around to, or in the end, ran out of time to complete.
A number of these I am taking into 2016 with me. I have decided that, considering I failed this year, that it is important that I fulfil my charity challenges. I will hopefully within the next few weeks be giving my hair to the Princess Trust, fundraising for SAMH and volunteering for a local organisation.
I also aim to start a Masters course, to continue to push myself academically. I would love to continue blogging, and to share my experiences with those willing enough to read about them.
Like I said, the biggest thing that this list has taught me is that you cannot plan everything and that life will inevitably take over. For this reason I have not come up with a new list. I have goals and will definitely be blogging about them in the near future, and how I do in regards to meeting them.
If I could turn back time and relive 2015, I wouldn’t. It has taught me a lot about myself and about life. I am looking forward to starting fresh, shaking 2015 off and embracing life as it comes. I already know that February may bring some challenges and a lack of blogging as my dad goes through his cancer treatment. I’m more than sure that there will be other negative aspects to 2016 but it is a huge goal to not let these things get me down. 2015 rocked my mental health a little more than I would like to admit, with both anxiety and depression rearing their ugly heads again.
But for right now?
I am getting excited about my new blog concept, planning some travel adventures, enjoying time with my family and creating so many more memories with my friends and G.
The birth of my Godson is imminent and I cannot wait for him to arrive.
I am currently sat in a room full of my family. What a way to bring in the first day of the year.
In the immortal words of one of my favourite bands, let it be.
maliewatson 